Remembering Jordan

It's hard to believe that it's already been 1 year. Jordan, you are always in our hearts. We miss you so much. Happy birthday baby.

"Glory Baby" by Watermark

Glory Baby, You slipped away
As fast as we could say baby, baby
You were growing, what happened Dear,
You disappeared on us baby, baby

Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe
Until we're home with you Until we're home with you

CHORUS
We miss you everyday, miss you in every way
But we know there's a day when we will hold you, we will hold you
And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay
*We can't wait for the day when we will see you, we will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you, until mom and dad can hold you*
You'll just have heaven before we do
You'll just have heaven before we do

Sweet little baby, it's hard to understand it
Cause we are hurting, we are hurting
But there is healing, and we know we're stronger people
Through the growing, and in knowing

All things work together for our good
And God works his purposes
Just like he said he would, just like he said he would

CHORUS
We miss you everyday, miss you in every way
But we know there's a day when we will hold you, we will hold you
And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay
*We can't wait for the day when we will see you, we will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you, until mom and dad can hold you*
You'll just have heaven before we do
You'll just have heaven before we do

BRIDGE
I can't imagine Heaven's lullabies
And what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing
Heaven is your home
And it's all you'll ever know, all you'll ever know

CHORUS
We miss you everyday, miss you in every way
But we know there's a day when we will hold you, we will hold you
And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay
*We can't wait for the day when we will see you, we will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you, until mom and dad can hold you*
You'll just have heaven before we do
You'll just have heaven before we do

Time to Finally Take the Plunge?

I've thrown around this idea for a long time now. Well, not exactly this idea, but one very similar. I have had a massive motivation problem lately. I've been eating poorly. I've been sleeping poorly. I've been extremely inconsistent in my "training". Training isn't even the correct word. Exercising is better since I'm not training for anything. Over the past month or two I've gone out for long weekend runs around triathlon races, spoken to cousins who are both training for their first triathlon and even heard that my mom did her first half marathon distance walk/run. This is starting to light a little fire. I've had the idea and interest in doing an ironman distance race for a very long time. It's a bit late to get started in training for a full ironman, but I think 4-5 months should be enough time to train for a fall half ironman distance race. I really dislike the idea of having to do lots of swimming, but the idea of doing the race is a bit stronger right now. Of course, this is all unofficial, but the idea is growing fast. Even out of shape as I am, I'm extremely confident that I could finish a race of that distance if I had to do it tomorrow. However, having some type of training beforehand can only make the experience that much more enjoyable.

Will this become official? Stay tuned for more details.

Speed Run

Well, I finally got back to doing an organized speed run today. This was my first in over 6 months. It felt pretty good. I could have pushed more, but at the same time, that was harder than I had pushed in a while. The 2nd 2 miles of the 3 mile tempo were into the wind with some slight inclines and I definitely felt that. I warmed up for 2 miles, did a 3 mile tempo at 6:26 pace and then 1 mile cool down. Not bad.

1 - 6:21, 171 bpm
2 - 6:29, 172 bpm
3 - 6:27, 173 bpm

Average - 6:25.7, 172 bpm

I hope to do 1-2 speed sessions a week and potentially put in a run to/from work here and there. Even though I'm not officially training for anything at this point, it's helping me get back into shape. There is the possibility of an October marathon or half marathon in my future. This work now can only help.

Twitter?

I hear all this talk about Twitter, but don't understand what all the excitement is about. With that said, I decided to create an account to see what all the fuss is about. Unfortunately, the name Eric Smidt is a bit more popular than I thought. You can find me as http://twitter.com/ericsmidt. Let's just see if anything comes of it.

Getting Back on Track

I think my exercise is getting back on track. I've had two good weeks in a row of getting back to where I was. Last week I did 4 runs for a total of 20.64 miles in 2:45 with 1,100 feet of elevation. I was tired, sore and out of shape but flt good getting started again. This week I ran 35.1 miles in 5:35 with 2,300 ft of elevation in 4 runs. The interest to do more is definitely coming back. I wanted to push more during the runs, but forced myself to hold back. Next week I'm hoping to add 1 bike ride in the mix to start adding some cross training. I may try to ride to work one day and then run home. It feels good to have an interest in this again.

Someone brought up Boston again today. I have 5 weeks to get myself to the start line. It would not be a good showing for me, but I'm confident I could get myself to the finish line. I have no desire to do it though. Actually, I still have no desire to train for any race. I'm feeling good getting back into exercising and getting back into shape. I still have a ways to go, but it's a great start.

Not much else to report this week. There has been way too much going on with work and the house to do much else. I had been playing some micro limit stakes poker lately, but have been too busy to play this week. Unfortunately, I have a habit of playing too much and not getting enough sleep when I'm into it. With so much going on lately, there just wasn't time for it last week. Plus, I was way behind on sleep and needed to catch up a bit.

As I start getting back into things, hopefully I will have more to report on. Until I can get fully back into life mentally, the posts will likely continue to be sporadic. With that said, it feels good to have some positive things that make me feel good to report on again.

Running Again

I've finally been able to start back running again this week. The ribs were still a bit sore on Monday, but I wanted to feel it out and see if I could start getting back into it again. It felt like a minor bruise with no real discomfort.

I feel like a newbie again. I did 4 miles on Monday and 5 1/2 on Tuesday. I was so incredibly sore on Wednesday. First of all, it was a bit slow (for me) and it was only 9 1/2 miles. Crazy. It didn't help that it was 87 degrees on Monday. :) (Sorry, had to add that in there.) I did another 5 1/2 today and averaged under 8s. Of course, my mind and natural gate want me to run faster than I am running, but my body is just not ready for that yet. My heart rate was way too high today given my effort level. I guess I just need to take it easy and ease my way back into it.

There are no race goals in the future. Unfortunately, both my qualifications for the Boston marathon expire this April. So if I ever want to do that race again, I'm going to have to re-qualify. Even if I was in shape, I still doubt I would have done it this year. Knowing that I was going to miss it this year for other reason and then suddenly being able to do it was just going to be too much I think.

So my goals are just to get back in shape again. I want to put in some running miles and get back into riding my bike again. I had recently started to do yoga and had really enjoyed it before taking about 5 or 6 weeks off due to vacation and injuries. I also hope to find some motivation again. I just don't have any these days. No motivation for much of anything. That reminds me, I just found out softball is coming up again. I love softball, but this is the least excited I've ever been for the start of a season.

That's it for now. Hopefully I will be back soon with updates (and excitement) on running, cycling, The Biggest Loser, American Idol, softball and all the other things I enjoy.

Time to Start Again?

Maybe it's time to start again. I'm not sure yet though. I'm currently unable to run having tried my luck at snowboarding last week and bruised the heck out of my ribs. In fact, I've been pretty useless in the "active" category for the past couple weeks. The desire is definitely coming back, but the physical ability just isn't there right now. So, not sure now is the time to start again when I can't even write anything about running. I haven't felt like doing any of this kind of public stuff in a long time, so maybe this is a step in the right direction.

There has been a lot going on in my life over the past 4-5 months. Most of which I will not be discussing here. I guess it's not that amazing how 1 event can affect so much of your life and for such a long time. No matter how hard you try to run away or how much you try to ignore it, it will always be there with you.

You know, it's weird. I want to write about things, but then again I don't. One time I think I want to share and then I decide I won't. So much uncertainty. So much confusion.

I know that I said nothing here today, but this is a big step for me, even if this is all I do. More tomorrow? We'll see.